Blogs
“The pleasure was mine”
By Kimberly Kelly
Feb. 20, 2008 at 11:01 AM
Well hello,
I know… yesterday’s blog said there was a picture there (and the picture did not make it)... if you will check back, it should be there. (thank you Kevin, our web wizard!)
I hope you will all pick up the book we featured on the show today entitled; “The Pleasure Was Mine” by a local Greenville author, Tommy Hays. It is a novel about a family dealing with Alzheimer. It is even set here locally. I am starting it today; I hope you’ll read it with me. It is all part of USC Upstate’s “Amazing Read”. The goal is simple, let’s get a community to read and TALK about the problem… I’ll start…
My grandfather, who I lost years ago, had Alzheimer. His name was Charles Thomason, a local business owner in Downtown Greenville; a strong, tough guy who was always pulling someone’s leg. Most any Greenville native with any age under their belt, can tell me their “Charlie stories” I can remember, as a small child standing outside his store on North Main trying to pour salt on pigeon’s tale feathers. You see he told me, if I could do that… they wouldn’t be able to fly away. Then again, he also told me he watered his watermelons he was growing, with sugar water; and that was why they were sweeter than anywhere else. When you’re six or seven years old, you might just believe that.
It is so sad to see the transformation… from a man bigger than life to a man with a disease much bigger than him. One of the first signs I saw was when I would go visit him each day after work, he would show me the money he made from his business that day… a business that had been closed for over a decade. He would tell me the same story and show me the same piece of paper, each and every day. I was sad sometimes to see him that way, but I was blessed with his excitement and company each time. The earlier parts of this disease will teach you to live in and savor the MOMENT.
“It takes a village”... is the saying and boy, isn’t that the truth when it comes to caring for a family member with Alzheimer. My parents moved him in (brothers and sisters helped with renovating a room to fit his needs). My brother, who was merely a teenager at the time, would help him bathe. My mom stayed home to cook and clean for her father-in-law, who towards the end was convinced with out a shadow of a doubt that she was his mother.
I miss him so much.
I promise, my blogs will not always be so serious in nature, but please… get the book… start reading… and start talking!
I’d love to hear your stories as well,
Kimberly
Comments
Thanks D.B….
Let me know what you think about the book; and by the way, I got an e-mail from Tommy Hays (the author)... seems he’s reading the blogs! (and I promise, I didn’t tell him about it) I am sure he would love to see your comments on it as well. Keep in touch,
Kimberly
Hello Kimberly,
Well, its been 2 months nearly and I finally read this book! Have you read it yet????? What did YOU think?
I found the book to be an easy read. The subjects and events were well written and I enjoyed it for the most part. I cried off and on through-out the book. I laughed quite a bit too. I found the stories very familiar and at times charming. It made me think a lot of my grandparents and what is going on in their lives—now that my grandfather has Alzhiemers. I loved the mention of favorite local landmarks S.C. and N.C. It helped make the story more alive for me.
The one thing I didn’t like about the book was this… The use of soooo much profanity. It was a bit over kill. I know some of it was useful in a quote or in driving home a point, but from a readers perspective—- there was a little much and I found it distracting. I think its a great story and would be a “greater” story with a little less @#*^%.
I had planned on passing the copy to my grandmother, but after reading it (becasue of the profainty) decided not to.
**I’m obviously not a well versed book critique (or a world class speller*** hahaha…lol
What was Your take on the book?
D.B.
OK… you are correct, there are some choice words.
I don’t know that were absolutely necessary, but didn’t keep me away from the read or the story. In some cases I felt that I knew people like this and that probably a lot of us do.
You are good to point our however that not everyone would appreciate or even tolerate the “choice words”.
I try and warn people of that (as I did with the reading of “Beautiful Boy”, but wrote the blog on the book the day it was given to me on the show, sorry)... thank you DB.
Having said that, how fun was it to read a book that had all those local references. And, how sad it was to read a story that hit so close to home… my grandfather went through this. You are also right when you day, it is a great story… it is that. I understand your concerns, but would still recommend it, personally.
k
Hi Kimberly,
I just stumbled across your blog. My grandfather currently has Alzheimer’s. It has taken such a
toll on my family and Yes, “It takes a village…” My grandmother thinks she is “super-woman”, But she is finding her need for family support more and more. My grandfather retired from Southern-Bell after 31 yrs.
He was one of the hardest working men I have ever known. I remember his strong arms and the way he always took care of Grams. He loves her very much. He still says when it comes to grams,“He couldn’t have done any better”.
I was visiting with him last week and Grams said that He was having a pretty bad morning. I walked into the den and just started chatting with him. Before long… as I have heard a hundred times previously, He began to tell me about his service during WW2. He told me that was in the US Army and that He drove a jeep through Germany delivering officers and messages to each outpost on the way. He then begins to tell me about the time he stopped off the side of road to “have a smoke” behind a tree.
Just then, there was a lot of artillery fire and a big piece of shrapnel went right through the windshield of the drivers side. (This is where I usually stop him and say teasingly, “Now granddad…You Know the Good Lord spared Your life because He knew you were going to have a wonderful granddaughter like ME!) Then he would bow up his lips, get tickled at me and start laughing as he had done ‘many’ times before. Only this time…He chimed in quick as a wink and said (very Seriously… but trying not to laugh)
“Well, I think… He had to give me a *purdy* wife and daughter first”. That was a surprise Change in the story. We both laughed for quite a while. I know hearing the same old, simple stories over and over can be frustrating…
but I cherish this one so. It always leads to laughter and more stories—- which on occasion may *surprise* me with a few “changes”.
Stories from a Great man, father and grandfather…whom for a moment knew where he was and what he was doing…
even if it was in another time and place.
So Yes, I agree…“live and Savor Every moment” as
One memory made, One remembered, or One glimmer ...can be
such a priceless gift.
I am going to look for this book “The Pleasure Was Mine” and when I read it, I will let you know what I think .
D.B. 2/21/08